Darkness and Despair

Through the years the Lord has given me passages at times when I needed them most. When all is dark and the soul is in great peril all you can do is turn to God and rest in His promises.

This passage means a lot to me.

Isaiah 55

 “Come, everyone who thirsts,

    come to the waters;

and he who has no money,

    come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk

    without money and without price.

² Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,

    and your labor for that which does not satisfy?

Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,

    and delight yourselves in rich food.

³ Incline your ear, and come to me;

    hear, that your soul may live;

and I will make with you an everlasting covenant,

    my steadfast, sure love for David.

⁴ Behold, I made him a witness to the peoples,

    a leader and commander for the peoples.

⁵ Behold, you shall call a nation that you do not know,

    and a nation that did not know you shall run to you,

because of the Lord your God, and of the Holy One of Israel,

    for he has glorified you.

⁶ “Seek the Lord while he may be found;

    call upon him while he is near;

⁷ let the wicked forsake his way,

    and the unrighteous man his thoughts;

let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him,

    and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

⁸ For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

⁹ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

    so are my ways higher than your ways

    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

¹⁰ “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven

    and do not return there but water the earth,

making it bring forth and sprout,

    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

¹¹ so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;

    it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,

    and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

¹² “For you shall go out in joy

    and be led forth in peace;

the mountains and the hills before you

    shall break forth into singing,

    and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

¹³ Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;

    instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;

and it shall make a name for the Lord,

    an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”

I was going through a time where I was struggling a lot with sin. Satan had used some of his lies to make me believe that I couldn't possibly be saved with how sinful my heart was. I was left feeling like I needed to offer an act of repentance to somehow atone for my sins. I was under the impression that if you truly repented of a certain sin then you would never return to that sin. I am sure that there is a thread of truth in this teaching, but I doubt that a human can ever attain perfect repentance. Even in repenting of sins, God has to supply the grace to make it complete. 

God used this passage to show me that He is the satisfaction the soul craves and, best of all, He doesn't cost you anything! You don't need money, influence, religion, or righteous acts to be accepted by Him. You can come, like the passage says, as a "wicked" or "unrighteous" man leaving the empty cisterns where you have sought satisfaction time and time again and turn to the Lord - this gracious God who doesn't require some great act of spiritual asceticism to be accepted in His sight. I am so grateful to be accepted by the God who "abundantly pardons" because I am a great sinner.  

And so, I came to a place where I had to accept that God's word was true and it didn't matter how far gone I was, or how dark my life seemed. I was not out of God's reach, in fact, I was right where He wanted me. Broken, longing for the life He offered. Knowing that there was nothing I could do to save myself. No act I could perform to make myself less dirty. Completely in need of His grace to renew my soul.

The Lord used this event  to open my eyes to the true nature of faith - trusting God to perform based on what He has revealed in His word. 

Thanks for reading!